My life in retrospect

Kenneth “Ken” Ely, known to many as “Bud”, however, I would argue that the luckiest people called him grandpa. Born November 12, 1932, he passed away peacefully March 23, 2023 in the comforts of his home. At 90 years old Grandpa lived an amazing life. He was born in the heart of Appalachia in a small coal mining town in Lee County, VA. He told me stories about growing up in a tiny house with dirt floors. Looking back it’s incredible to think that Grandpa grew up during the Great Depression and World War II. He didn’t come from much but that didn’t stop him from living an amazing and accomplished life.

The title of this post is Morse code for “SOS”. Something grandpa would always rattle off to me in reference to his time in the service. Grandpa joined the Air Force and served our country in the Korean War. He would always tell me stories about how his job was to navigate the plane. How he would sit in this bubble in the nose of the plane, with enemies flying at him, shooting at them (thankfully he was never shot down), and he would help the pilot navigate around the gun fire – or at least that’s how I remember the stories. He traveled the world and would always say funny things in other languages. I wish I remembered them now.

I was blessed to have a grandpa like him. He was my real life John Wayne, my hero, and one of my biggest supporters. I don’t believe it was by accident that I ended up in Virginia, the place where he was born and raised.

My oldest brother Keith likes to talk about how when he was little, Mom and Dad lived next door to our grandparents, and he would walk over to get fresh cookies from Grandma straight out of the oven. I get a little sad thinking about how I missed out on memories like that, but then again, I’m thankful for the ones I do have.

Grandma and Grandpa moved to Colorado shortly after I was born where they bought this amazing house! It had a huge indoor swimming pool and a rec room to run around in. Outside I’d watch the rabbits and the birds and visit with the neighbor’s horses and goats. Holding those little goats is probably what started my love and obsession with the wily creatures (thanks grandpa!).

Grandpa made sure I got to enjoy my summer breaks with them, so he would take me to see all kind of places. On one of my trips to Colorado, we went to the top of Pike’s peak – which was amazing and slightly terrifying. In TN we went to see things like the Lost Sea (where we fed these underground fish), explored the Smokey Mountains and got to see black bears and the beauty of nature, even came across a little shop called “Ely’s Mill” which was pretty neat. He introduced me to family I never knew about all around the southeast. It was always an adventure but one of the best parts was that he always took me out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays where I would get ribs and strawberry lemonade. It’s fair to say that my grandpa spoiled me.

One of my favorite memories though was when he tried taking me on a trail ride in Colorado. He knew I LOVED horses. I was so excited! He got me a cowboy hat and boots just for the occasion (and so I could be like him). I was on a beautiful brown and white paint. We did get to go out a little ways but then a bad storm started coming in and we had to turn around. I was so bummed but I love that he tried. He always tried.

My brothers childhood memories of spending summers with our grandparents are from Colorado but most of mine are centered around Tennessee. I’m the youngest grandchild so I got to spend my summers with Grandpa once he retired. I was so sad when they announced they were selling their Colorado home (with the amazing pool) and moving to Ten Mile, TN. But boy was I wrong to be sad… they bought a house right on the lake – well an inlet that led to the lake but it was the lake! Going to TN was a lot of fun. We spent hours going boating and fishing and watching old John Wayne movies. Grandpa even bought a yellow Jetski for us to run around on. I named it Bruce. And one of my favorite outcomes of them moving to TN was meeting my cousin (well technically my dad’s cousin) Ashlee and her horses. I was so lucky she shared her horses and spent summers hanging out with me on the lake.

Grandpa was always so impressive and never stopped moving. He said you get old once you stop moving. That man hiked a mountain every day…in his 70’s! He was proud of what he had in life and he took great care of it. If you ever saw Grandpa’s truck, it was always perfect. He taught me that even if you don’t have much, you can still be proud of what you do have. So be sure to always take care of your things. Once I moved to TN, he would wash and wax my car every time I came over and I never understood why (it was kind of piece of junk), but I look back now and realize what he was trying to teach me.

Some of my favorite memories with grandpa are in the car. He drove those TN backroads like a bat out of hell but I never felt unsafe with him. He’d call them “taillight cleaner” or “COD” curves. I remember looking at him so strangely the first time he said that. He explained that back in the day, when cars had bench seats, you’d be out on a date and if you took those curves real fast you could slide your girl over to you (clearly no seatbelt laws lol). So they were called “COD” or “come on over dear” curves. I still chuckle when I think about it.

I didn’t know it then but my life changed when my grandparents moved to TN. It shaped my future and I’m glad that it did. I never would have moved there for school and made the friends I did if it hadn’t been for them. I am certain I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am today without them.

Getting old is hard and maybe that’s because it’s hard for others to accept, but getting old is also a privilege. We should all be so lucky to see 90 years on this Earth. To watch someone fade into a shell of their former self from age is beautiful and a sign of a life well lived. Grandpa deserved all the love and care he was given… especially in the end. I’ll forever be grateful for everything he gave me and the love he had for me. I’m thankful that I was with him to the very end. I’ll miss him always but I know he’s finally reunited with the great love of his life and looking down on me.